Sex as a Relational Phenomena and the “Male Gaze”
Central to the understanding of sexuality I’m developing in my book Civilization and Its Contents is that it is fundamentally a relational phenomena. What makes our actions sexual is just the physical acts we do. After all, many of those acts can be sexual or not depending on context. A female doctor examining the penis of a male patient is not a sexual act. What makes an act sexual is that is designed to elicit sexual desire and arousal on the part of ourselves and our partners. Two people are having sex not just because of what they do to each other but because what they do intends to express their own sexual desire and, in doing so, elicit sexual desire and arousal in their partners by their recognition of that intention–as well as by the pleasure one’s partner receives .[1] Now this general point about sexuality can be misunderstood… Continue reading




